Theme Song:

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“Do the Goat” by Unnamed Party Band. I really don’t know what to make of this one. In fact I wasn’t even sure if I should bother recording it but for some reason I did. I guess it was worth it.

Interesting Dated References: Nice Alice Cooper poster in the girls locker room.

Best Line: I don’t know, man, there’s a lot going on here, so I guess the best line depends on what angle you are taking on the movie. This shit sucks, so I guess there’s no good line, but it’s almost so terrible everything qualifies.

Social Context: Um, it’s a booby movie. So, no.

Summary: I was just put on prescription blood pressure medication (age: 29) because I can’t ever relax. But when I saw I get to review something called Incoming Freshmen my blood pressure immediately dropped without the aid of pills. There’s nothing more relaxing than a late 1970s booby movie. I think that’s the genre name. Wait a minute. This is going south really fast. When I said I wanted a good booby movie, I meant something like Cherry Hill High, but this is fast turning into some type of shitty generic Troma movie. Fuck.

This movie was clearly filmed in a house. I mean, these sets are terrible. They look like they are in the basement of a factory they painted pastel. There’s a ton of pipes running along the ceilings and there is terrible echo to all the audio (no boom mic). Seriously! Pipes running all over the ceilings and walls and shit! For example:

That’s clearly some type of faucet/water pressure valve on the wall. What would that be doing in a dorm room? Seriously, they could have easily cropped that out of the shot. This dialogue is fucking grueling, dude! These chicks aren’t even hot! It’s like, frumpy city! Sweet Jesus. This must have been filmed in New York or near and art school with all the frump going on in this shit.

Okay, so the plot is loosely following the virginal Jane on her quest to deliver muffled, stifled dialogue. She does succeed. The plot also follows the school principal as he envisions women naked and does all types of slapstick shit. Jane’s roommate, Viv, is a slut. That’s her in the picture above. She helps Jane realize her boyfriend back home is cheating on her. Meanwhile, the principal envisions girls naked. I know that sounds appealing, but it’s so confusing I have a hard time even getting aroused. That could be because of the blood pressure medication, though.

So once Jane decides to date guys, she goes to the drive in where Jive-talking Black Guy, White-surfer Guy, and Nerd Guy all discuss how to get in her pants. Let’s not forget this sweater:
Something tells me this post is going to resort to pictures only in about two minutes. There's literally nothing going on here. There's some weird song playing, too. Some type of disco/Randy Newman hybrid thing.

Holy fuck. I just went and got the mail because this movie is so fucking miserable and would you fucking believe there's a goddamn jury duty summons in the fucking mailbox. What the fuck!?! What the fuck am I supposed to do with this shit!?! Fucking shit, man! Why the fuck does this happen to me! Can I get out of this shit? Isn't there a way I can make excuses about how I hate society and can't stand public situations and get out of this? I hate life. I'm going to call my mom.

The principal sneaks into the girls showers and there's a bunch of boobs. Then he teaches a class and there are a bunch more boobs. Some nice quality ones in this section. This jury duty summons says I get a per diem. Does anyone know how much that is? Fuck, I can't really afford to take a week off from work. Jesus Christ, I totally wasn't going to drink tonight, either. Man alive. Then Viv and Jane go to a disco bar. This scene is actually pretty funny if for nothing other than the dated attire. Then Jane sort of dates Nerd Guy and the principal pictures more naked girls. This isn't quite as bad as a Troma movie, but it's sure as hell pretty close to it.

Then the principal hallucinates and sees all the girls in the locker room in pig masks and they force him into a shower, or something. Then the girls go to some frat party and some guy who looks exactly like Todd Solondz gives a speech. The principal shows up and everyone parties.

Meanwhile the other non-frat guys pout. Jesus Christ, jury duty! Me! Can you believe it! Then the movie ends. Seriously though, all week I have to report! What the fuck!?!

Poster and Box Art: The box features a bunch of hot chicks who aren’t in the movie, which seems to be a standard thing for booby comedies of the late 70s. The budget for the poster actually seems like it may have been higher than the movie.

Availability: A bunch of used VHS. Oh, and this movie is available on one of those shitty 30 movie DVD packs that are always super-shitty transfers.

Posted by srock on Monday, October 1st, 2007 at 10:44 am. Filed under 70s Boob Showcase, Slapstick Fallout