A young Matt Dillon nervously stammers his way through introducing us to several different roller coasters of the early 80s. Attempting to cash in on the success of MTV, the producers selected the worst songs by their favorite bands, took the coaster footage, hired some bad actors and made a bunch of stupid music videos. Crappy songs you've never heard from The Who, Dave Mason, The Cars and ....
Reviews filed under Standard-Lowering Children’s Entertainment.
WILD RIDES (1982)
DEATH VALLEY (1982)
Peter Billingsley (pre-A Christmas Story) tries to lead this mystery/slasher movie. He and his mom and step-dad go out to the desert for vacation. They are stalked by an ominous car and sheriff Wilford Brimley keeps finding random bodies. Eventually we learn the killer is a waiter at a restaurant. I think this film was made for kids whose mothers had just gotten remarried as the ....
HOME ALONE: A KID’S GUIDE… (1987)
Yet another tape that teaches kids how to live alone when both of their parents are out having affairs and getting drunk at the bar. This one is different because it has lots of pastel colors and lots of Malcom-Jamal Warner. This one also spends a lot of time on plumbing accidents, gas leaks and power outages. No wonder we all grew up so paranoid. Tapes ....
FOR SAFETY’S SAKE (1986)
Gary Coleman helmed safety tape. Gets super detailed by covering how to cook alone, what to do about poisons, fires, pederasts at your front or back doors, phone calls, all different types of cuts and burns, etc. It goes on and on. It's basically an instruction manual for kids who have parents that don't care about them and leave them alone all the time even though they ....
STRONG KIDS, SAFE KIDS (1984)
Riding closely with a dozen other anti-kidnapping/sexual abuse tapes with famous actors, Strong Kids, Safe kids clearly rises way above. Henry Winkler, John Ritter, Pac Man, The Fonz, Papa Smurf and a dozen other random people convince kids "they are never to blame, even if it felt good." So totally random and filled with uncomfortable moments that a small summary doesn't do it justice. Also includes a ....
